Thursday, September 30, 2010 @ 3:50 AM
Insomnia
I swear to God, this fucking insomnia thingy has to fucking stop. I have to stop sleeping at 5am every single motherfucking day. It's pissing me off really badly. I come home tired every single day, and once I land on my bed, my mind is literally awake and my body is dead. I tried to sleep at 1am, and it didn't work, I'll end up rolling around my bed and then use my laptop. I tried to listen to decent and calm music, but I'll end up getting distracted and not being able to sleep in peace. I tried to clear my mind and close my eyes, but my brains just wouldn't shut. I tried to take a panadol, and it's either the panadol didn't have any effect on me, or it's just that my body is too immune to panadols already. Is there a fucking cure for insomnia?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010 @ 12:23 AM
Slow down.
Right now, all I need is to see and meet my boyfriend.
You're someone important in my life right now.
Monday, September 27, 2010 @ 4:46 PM
I'm the goddess of my own dream.
So, my dslr is spoilt and I won't be uploading pictures anytime soon. A very tragic story indeed. I'm too lazy to type anything here because there's literally nothing in my head write now. I just typed because I promised to update on Monday.
And I almost got hit by a car, but I'm here :') Thank God I'm still alive. OGAYOGAY. Too dramatic already. BYE.
Friday, September 24, 2010 @ 3:12 AM
Quiet nights.
This is gonna be the last post for the week, I promise. I'm engaged in something much more time consuming and interesting than blogging for my own viewing pleasure. This week is gonna be the last week I'm gonna go house visiting with my friends/family, so next week I can finally continue with my detox diet. Did I mention that I'm very broke right now? I'm trying my best to survive, which I think can since I've survived a month with $300+ before. Good deeds will always be re-payed. I can't really use a lot of money next month since I've quite a number of things I want to save up for, and furthermore I don't think I earned a lot.
I can't wait for school, I'm fucking tired of going out and going work everytime. I don't see anything to look forward to anymore because everything seems so bleak suddenly. It's like, it's a routine for me already. I kinda miss surprises though. School = Time consuming + Allowance + Friends, so fuck yea I'm gonna buck up this semester and I hope my upcoming class is not that miserable. I have a number of things I want to accomplish before I turn 18. And you guys, please enjoy making fun of me for another 3 months because after that, you guys can't make fun of me anymore. You guys have one less thing to joke about now.
I think it's gonna be a fucking stressful October for me because I've a lot of things to do and settle, with everything going haywire, I'm kinda lost at the moment, so I'll try to get back on track next month (which is end of next week). Meh, so I'm gonna be a lazy fucker for now. And fuck, my body-clock, last warning haha.
Okok, 3.25AM already, I'm gonna try to at least force myself to sleep if not I've to sleep at 7am :S Oh and, happy 7th month of knowing each other, love♥
Thursday, September 23, 2010 @ 1:17 PM
Nonsense.
Can't wait for November. Not gonna give both opportunities a miss this time round. I hope the preparation and everything else would be sufficient. Every week this coming month would be an intensive training for all of us.Also, I can't wait for next week. I've an interview coming up, but I'm not gonna tell you guys what the interview is about! :) Go figure.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010 @ 12:48 AM
Disgust
This world is filled with defensive and obligated people who take in opinions and suggestions a little too seriously. I would rather keep my opinions and suggestions to myself from now on. Goddamit, when will people learn?
And that's fucking disgusting.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010 @ 2:30 AM
Move bitch, get out the way.
Don't know why but I'm irritated and annoyed today.
I was working today and I was really close to telling off a few customers. I gave death stares to customers who came to my table and touched the clothes.. and then I'll pretend to smile and ask them in a firm voice, "Excuse me, what size you want?". And when customers mess my table, I'll stare at them till their balls shrink and they walk away (okay I exaggerated). Plus, there were a lot of thing to do, so that pretty much explains.
It's just one of those days you feeling telling people off and it's like you woke up the wrong side of the bed, and no I'm not having PMS. Fuck, I'm still feeling irritated though it's already at night/morning? Damn, I need a smoke to chill.
Monday, September 20, 2010 @ 2:28 AM
Hi, hello, wasabi.
Anyone miss me or not?
Friday, September 17, 2010 @ 2:16 AM
Crossing yourself out.
I'll be really busy from today onwards. There's so many things I have to do. My schedule is so packed! This month I wanted to actually do a lot of things, but judging from my schedule, I don't think it's ever possible. I'll be to lethargic to even execute my plans.
Friday: Work (Closing)
Saturday: Work (Opening) & jalan raya
Sunday: Work (Opening)
Monday: Work (Full shift)
Tuesday: Jalan raya
Wednesday: Work (Closing)
Thursday: Rest day
Friday: Work & Jalan raya
Saturday: Work (Lapping)
Sunday: Work & Jalan raya
I think today will be the last day that I'll be able to sleep till 3pm. Fuckkkkkkk. But nevermind, I'll be earning more next month. And today I managed to pull through 9 hours of work. I think I need to work longer hours because I don't feel the tiredness, but it'll only kick in at night haha.. like right now. And to those who wrote on my Formspring, I replied already. :) Just send in more questions, but I'll take awhile to answer okay?
OH YES, I GREW FATTER AGAIN. HAIYA.
My boyfriend's in Melacca now! Hope he reached Melacca safely and that he'll grow more boncet over the next three days and the next time we meet.. I'll hug his tummy. I miss you.
Thursday, September 16, 2010 @ 1:29 AM
A daily routine.
This will be my daily routine.
Just sitting alone in a corner in McDonalds with my laptop, Caramel frappe, Cinnamon Melts and an empty mind at 1am in the morning.
I enjoy observing people especially when I'm alone. No passing judgments, just appreciating the beauty of each and every person in this place. There's something about me spending time alone. I enjoy being alone. I'm not a sadist or a loner, there's some time in your life that you wish to spend more time with yourself and forget everything else.
Oh, and right now, I'm looking at this young toddler walking around smiling happily. I wonder what is it like being a kid right now, when you have nothing to worry about. As much as I want to grow older, the time is moving too fast. Too fast, that I can't catch up with my own pace. There are things that I still don't understand, but maybe some things are supposed to be left as a mystery.
And one more thing, this is usually the best time for self-reflections.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 @ 3:54 PM
Once a dreamer, still a dreamer.
Meeting colleagues at AMK at 9pm.
Probably gonna spend some time at Airport's Starbucks tonight too.
Just me, my laptop, molten choc cake, caramel macchiato.
And then after tomorrow, I'll be working everyday.
Hi Amy.
I bet you don't expect me to secretly hack into your blog account like how I used to.
Stay strong.
Louis brother
Tuesday, September 14, 2010 @ 6:03 PM
Fuck tits.
I'm sure you can do something more than that.
Saturday, September 11, 2010 @ 2:40 AM
Day One
As usual, day one would be spent at home because since my dad is the oldest, his relatives will come and visit him. I spent the whole day eating and serving guests, and I couldn't wait till the end of the day because I couldn't breathe in the corset. Most importantly, I didn't like the part where I had to seek forgiveness from my parents because I know I am a little rascal. So that part got me a little emotional but Mama and Papa kissed my cheeks and forgave me. The fact that I'm not really close to my dad's side made it a little awkward because I'm here in Serangoon, and they're all there at West. So, I don't really remember all of them. Didn't know a whole of things changed in a year, because so many things happened. But there's one thing that didn't change, being a part of the whole family :) I'll be doing house visiting again later, so I'mma have to sleep in now. Goodnight!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010 @ 2:29 AM
Used.
Kiss my fucking ass, and take my middle (fucking) fingers with you.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010 @ 1:28 AM
One down, three to go.
This week is really gonna be a hectic week for me, so I'll not post update for awhile. That's if, there's actually anybody out there who reads this blog. But, I don't really care because this blog is for my own personal usage of venting out my frustrations, joy, complaints and everything else. It's for my viewing pleasure, not anyone's, because I'm tired of living up to people's expectations.
Anyway, yesterday I met my boyfriend for a short date. Before that, I baked Rainbow Cupcakes just for him. If time wasn't a constraint, and if it's not during the fasting period, it'll probably be the best looking and tasting cupcakes he ever tasted (okay, I exaggerated).
I had my fun baking it, at the same time, it was a helluva' test of patience because I wasn't patient enough to sit down and do the layers properly. Plus, I was pissed at myself for being clumsy. Sometimes, I wished I could change myself to not be so clumsy, well I tried, but it often fail, so.. I'll just live with my clumsiness. And suprisingly, it tasted not bad, and I really liked the inner colour of the cupcakes, so that made me happy :) I hoped baby liked my cupcakes though.
Yesterday we buka-ed together for the first time during the fasting month, so it was kinda exciting for me. Then after that, we went to catch a movie, "The Hole". Honestly, it was the.... most ridiculous "horror/thriller" film I ever watched. It was okay at first, but subsequently, it just became... lame. There's no plot in the film. But I did enjoy it 'cos I kept hugging on baby's arm during the first part and so did he, tsk haha.
Then, went to ChristChurch, and the rain disappointed me, but it was okay. It was part of the "reminiscence" I had of the first week we started dating. I love your presence baby. It just makes me feel at ease and it takes my mind off everything.
And thank you for the present of the bigggg Brownies. I really liked it! Sayang kamu b. And thanks for yesterday, though it was short, but I enjoyed every minute of it. So, Happy Belated 4th Monthsary baby. I love you!
P/S: Database UT tomorrow, I really hope I'll ace it.
Sunday, September 5, 2010 @ 2:43 AM
Fourth
Yay, Amy tak sabar nak gi dating ngan An.
:D:D
Happy Fourth baby! I love you!
Friday, September 3, 2010 @ 3:10 AM
Disillusionised.
I've been having weird dreams lately.
And it's been awhile since I constantly been having dreams everytime I go to sleep and only recently, that's happening. But you know what's the fun part about my dreams? They make no sense at all, and usually I can control my dreams. I hope tonight, I won't dream about anything. Am I thinking too much when I'm sleeping? Because dreams are made up of things that you're subconsciously thinking about when you're asleep. And whenever I wake up, I'll wake to either the drilling upstairs or my dad's stereo blasting Kitaro.
Anyway, I've been great. I'm preoccupied by studying at home, dinner with close friends/family, work, Runescape, Last Chaos, anime, manga, 90210, The Big C. Because my tests are round the corner, I'm stressed like fuck about my grades and I'm fasting, I've been smoking more after breaking fast. My room is now red and it's nearer to the house door/gate which would mean it'll be easier for me to sneak out late at night.... for smoke breaks.
Nothing beats just sitting under your void deck on a chilly night at 3am, doing nothing, just sitting down and smoking.. and forgetting what life is about for awhile.
I miss my boyfriend, can't wait for 5th.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010 @ 1:10 AM
Horrified.
No, I don't see the light in this life.I just want to run away to somewhere much more peaceful.
A place where I should shut my brains for a moment,
and forget what life is all about.