Sunday, October 31, 2010 @ 9:42 PM
A roller coaster.
It's like you're happily eating ice cream for a moment, and then suddenly the ice cream just drops to the ground.
It's like you're back on your feet, and then you fall again.
I really don't know how to describe how I'm feeling now. It's like a mixture of fear, sadness, angst, disappointment and everything else. It's not a good feeling, definitely. Why?
Saturday, October 30, 2010 @ 1:14 PM
What's up with people stepping over my head one by one?
Think damn fun is it? I suggest you guys go fuck your own pussies and dicks before I really step on your head physically.
Friday, October 29, 2010 @ 12:02 AM
We're turning into dust.
A very down kitty.
What has happened to this place which was once filled with rainbows, clouds and stars?
Giving both Miles Away and the Halloween party a miss because I'm not in the mood for either one. I'll just stay at home, smoke till I die, and play my PSP till the battery bursts.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010 @ 12:29 AM
Is scarification a sin?
I need answers.
Sunday, October 24, 2010 @ 11:33 PM
Simple
Learn to appreciate what you have because it's gonna be gone soon.
I'm still quite dumbstruck-ed after realizing the amount of things that have changed over a period of time. I don't know if I can keep up with these changes because it's not giving me any justice. All I need is some support and maybe a sign to tell me that there's still someone who gives shit about me.
I don't fucking understand this shit I'm in. Fuck.
Friday, October 22, 2010 @ 12:15 AM
Hello hello.
I've been busy with school and work recently. I'm quite happy because for the first week, I've gotten all A's for my 4 modules. Hopefully, this week I would be able to ace them again. I love going to school, I enjoy being class, I've no idea why. But it's good that I've the motivation to study. After school, I've been hanging out with my friends and then head home for an early sleep. I really need an organizer badly -hint hints- Heh. I know my blog's fucking boring because I've no pictures. DSLR is not fix'd yet. Maybe next month. Damn lazy ah, I'm more preoccupied in doing other things. God, give me strength to get over the subsequent days because I really need it. Somehow, I really need a break, but.. I've no time. So yes, I'll see you when I see you blog. I'll misssss you.
Monday, October 18, 2010 @ 1:47 PM
ANYONE INTERESTED IN FORMING A METALCORE BAND?
INFLUENCES LIKE PARKWAY DRIVE.
LOOKING FOR A FULL-LINEUP. 2 GUITARISTS, 1 BASSIST, 1 DRUMMER.
PLEASE CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFORMATION.
E-mail me: alivingdisguise@hotmail.com
Sunday, October 17, 2010 @ 3:03 PM
Everyone's getting fucked up.
Woah, finally I'm able to get some load off my chest. I've successfully completed all the RJ's required for the IEP programme. I hope everything goes well. Haven't been working much lately because I'm busy with schoolwork. First week of school was good. Hopefully for the next 15 weeks, it's gonna be a pleasurable learning experience for me. My Friday was spent with my 2 closefriends at my crib, and my Saturday was spent with a simple gathering with a group of people (which was less than 10), and shisha thereafter. And right now my Sunday is spent on watching TV and watching anime in this very pleasant weather. :)
My next pay I'm gonna spend it on a Cannon g12 slr, another pair of Vans and more merch >:)
Friday, October 15, 2010 @ 1:45 PM
Don't know what I've done to deserve this. Fuck.
I think I've been patient enough. Stop bullshitting me.
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 2:14 PM
ONE BY ONE EVERYONE IS PISSING THE FUCK OUT OF ME.
CAN YOU GUYS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FUCKING ONCE?
AND JUST DEAL WITH IT? GODDAMIT.
School rules
School is good so far. I have one day off, and a module that starts at a later timing. I managed to get along with some of my new classmates, which makes me happy. I think I need more motivation to continue study. My GPA has de-proved by 0.2 , and it's time for me to buck up. This semester I aim to get a GPA of at least 3.6. I've only got a GPA of 3.0 for last semester, there's nothing to be proud of when I know there are people scoring 3.8 easily. I feel the pressure, but it's part of the motivation to make me study harder. I will not skip school, and I will try my best not to partial any meetings. I know I sound like a fucking geek, but this means a lot to me. I'm doing this to prove someone wrong. I know I'm going against my beliefs in proving people, but I have to make this an exception. I'll work hard, this is a promise that I'm gonna make to myself.
Putting aside schoolwork, life's been relatively okay I guess. Today was the first time I showed my anger to my friends, it kinda scared me a little. I'm so fucking glad I didn't do anything irrational such as really slapping them. And, I scared them a little too, I'm sorry. This is what happens when too much things happen, you have people crossing the line, you have people taking things for granted, you're not being treated the way you treat people nicely and having too much patience. I can't put aside my ego anymore, I think it's too much. Things are getting difficult, and there are people who're not helping. Might as well just fuck it and suck on it. You live alone, you die alone. But let me tell you this, I'm not fucking giving up. If anything gets in my way, see what will eventually happen.
Even during school days, I still have 4 hours of sleep. Someone should just shoot this insomnia away.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010 @ 10:56 AM
I know my pride, with all my heart I'll embrace you.
Forget about being unhappy when you've got people like this to make you happy.
Monday, October 11, 2010 @ 12:16 AM
Joys turns to dust
"Lying down beside someone you really like/love and just forgetting the world for a moment." has 80 likes on Facebook already! :)
Anyway, I have a good piece of news to share, but I really wanna share it with my baby first and I hope that he'll be there with me to go through this opportunity with me. It's gonna be my first time, so I wish he's gonna be there to support me.
Sunday, October 10, 2010 @ 1:34 AM
Down with the sickness
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Thank you insomnia for depriving me of sleep and energy, and because of that, now I'm sick. I'm so pissed at myself for having insomnia especially during the holidays. I really hate you insomnia. I'm gonna get rid of you soon, and get rid of my fever and dry cough too.
Friday, October 8, 2010 @ 4:36 AM
Failure
I'm a failure in everything.
Why do I have such itchy fingers to go load the earlier messages? Why Amy, tell me fucking why? I totally missed it, I really do. I just had to fuck things up along the way, and I'm really upset I can't be of anyone's expectations. I'm so hopeless in being someone. I'm really upset that I can't change things right now, to how it was before. I'm disappointed in myself. Why? Why? Tell me fucking why.
Motherfuckinghell insomnia, you seriously fucked my mind so badly. Thanks for fucking my mind in the wee hours of the morning.
Fuck this shit man, I'm such a failure.
Red blue purple pink
Damn, I wish I wasn't fickle minded and clumsy.
I spent 15 minutes deciding what dress I should buy and kept thinking if I should get the bag or not. Totally wasted my time thinking. Then as I was walking home, I didn't realise I was nightdreaming (totally not day dreaming because it was 12am+) so, I tripped on my own foot and fell flat on the ground. I thank God no one was there to witness my fall because it was really embarrassing, and now I have a scratch on my elbow. When will I not be fickle minded and get hurt because of my clumsiness?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010 @ 11:48 PM
Five months
Nothing can ever compare to a night spent with someone you love. Someone who have seen you through your weakest, and someone who have seen you through your best. Someone whom you can talk talk nonsense about, and someone whom you can just lay beside and just forget about the world for a moment. Someone whom you can sing along with even though your voice may not be the most pleasant voice you've ever heard. Someone whom you can share something you've baked, though it might not be the best-tasting cheesecake you've ever tasted.
You'll always be my boncetboy.
I love you, Farhan, always. 
I shouldn't have let you go when I hugged you before going up, because right now, I'm missing you terribly for some reason. 
I'll see you soon love.
I'll see you soon love.
Awesome or what
You know, I think I don't wanna celebrate my birthday.
I wanna go Bintan Resort again eh.
Idk why, but I feel so happy.
I think I crazy.
Oh god, I love ppl who make me feel so happy.
Monday, October 4, 2010 @ 3:35 AM
Manipulated truths
I'm numb for words.I gave up trying.
Saturday, October 2, 2010 @ 12:39 AM
Mur eh pek / Ree dee cue luss
Hi.
I deleted my twitter, and recreated a new one. I think I'm mentally concussed right now. I'm sleep deprived right now. I haven't been sleeping well, only about 4 hours a day? Plus my friends noticed my excessive eye bags. Thanks a whole lot insomnia, you did a really great job in making me look worst. I'm sorry I've no pictures to entertain myself. I'm deleting my blog too, and I'm gonna recreate a new one, and you have to figure again.
You wanna know why?
Because I honestly dislike everyone.
:)